Managing Stress During Fertility Treatments – Mental Health Support for Couples
By Ana Brown, B.A. Psychology, Mental Health Content Writer & Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A., LCPC
Mar 21, 2025
How can therapists help with the emotional impact of infertility and the ups and downs of IVF journey – Stress management techniques and mindfulness.
For most women, becoming a mother is just part of life, a natural cycle that happens organically and expectantly. Since we are little girls, societal pressures, family values instilled upon us during our upbringing, and personal goals have a huge influence on how a woman perceives motherhood. And to add pressure, women are expected to want children. For most women, pregnancy happens easily, whether planned or a surprise. Unfortunately, motherhood does not happen easily for a lot of women and the emotional roller coaster associated with infertility and treatment can leave a lifetime of profound impact on a person’s or couple’s mental, physical, spiritual and financial life. How mental health can be affected by fertility challenges needs to be addressed during this journey.
WHAT IS INFERTILITY
The Cleveland Clinic defines infertility as a condition where you can’t get pregnant after one year of trying to conceive. Important to note that both men and women can contribute to infertility.
John Hopkins Medicine lists the following as conditions that must be present for a pregnancy to develop:
Healthy male sperm count
Women’s healthy eggs
Fallopian tubes must be opened to allow sperm to reach the egg
The sperm must be able to fertilize the egg
The fertilized egg must implant in the uterus
The embryo must be healthy
CAUSES OF INFERTILITY
Although polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common cause of infertility in women, there are other complex conditions associated with infertility in females:
Ovulation disorders (absent or irregular ovulation)
Uterine disorders (fibroids, endometriosis, and other uterine abnormalities)
Damaged or blocked Fallopian tubes
STDs
Egg quality
Other causes (age, extreme and chronic stress, smoking, drug use, auto immune diseases)
In men, some causes of infertility can be listed as following but not limited to:
Oligospermia (low sperm count)
Hormonal imbalances
STDs
Congenial alterations
Lifestyle factors (smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, extreme chronic stress, obesity)
Chromosome defects
Infertility is a complex condition to diagnose, since it can be caused not only by one but by a myriad of factors. Fortunately, there are many alternative paths to parenthood as well as efficient treatments. Your healthcare provider and a licensed therapist can provide the support needed to evaluate the best options available.
After a formal diagnosis of infertility, the next step is to consider what options are available for conceiving either through IVF or other treatments. This journey has a tremendous impact on everyone involved. The diagnosis itself is a realization that parenthood may never happen. The preconceived idea that a family must revolve around the birth of a child, puts an extra layer of pressure on the couple trying to conceive or single parents who choose to have children. The effects on one’s mental health is inevitable.
To cope with the challenges associated with infertility, it is critical to gather support, not only family and friends, but a team of professionals that can guide clients to evaluate all feasible options available, such as IVF treatments, surrogacy, surgery or adoption. Whichever option taken, the importance of mental health support by a licensed therapist is fundamental. If your mental health is affected by your journey with infertility, then your parental skills will also be affected. Bringing a child into this world is already a huge undertaking and becoming a new parent who is not ready psychologically can deeply disrupt a moment which should only feel like a beautiful celebration of life.
HOW CAN THERAPY HELP WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT DURING FERTILITY TREATMENTS
Every individual or couple will react to a diagnosis of infertility in different ways. But studies show that the most common emotional reactions are persistent feelings of:
Guilt
Anxiety
Emptiness
Depression
Disruption in the couple’s relationship
Loss of interest in previous liked activities
Anger
Fear of never being able to conceive
Grief
Social isolation
These intense feelings can also interfere with IVF treatment since a state of constant stress can release cortisol and other hormones which affect our overall health. Taking care of our mental health is the first step for achieving a healthier body.
A licensed therapist creates a safe space for individuals or couples experiencing stress from infertility to:
Learn coping skills
Practice relaxation techniques for stress relief
Process negative feelings
Evaluate options for parenthood
Address grief
Improve couple’s communication skills
Offer extra support for the challenges, failures and successes associated with infertility diagnosis and treatment.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat the psychological negative impact on individuals or couples dealing with infertility, by identifying negative thought patterns and reframing them into positive behaviors, leading to an improved healthier state of mind and well-being.
Asking for help is sign of strength. The ongoing stress can be alleviated by having a licensed therapist available to help design a stress management plan during treatment which can also involve time for self-care, journaling, exercise, date night without discussing infertility, hobbies and different activities to take the focus from negative thoughts and bring the mind to focus on other positive aspects of the clients lives, develop a calendar for social activities and many other coping tools.
Find a licensed therapist here
There is no sugarcoating that a diagnosis of infertility can be devastating to individuals and couples. But we are never alone. Take a deep breath, remember that whether you move ahead with treatment, or an alternative path to parenthood or re-imagine your life perhaps without being a parent, you are in control of what your future can look like. The path to achieving a dream is never easy and not always the way we expected, but it is always worthy of all the lessons. You are not defined or more valuable by parenthood but by simply being you.
Be kind. Be brave. Be well.
Always with love,
HELPFUL LINKS
Northwestern Medicine – How to support someone experiencing infertility
Understanding depression – Causes, symptoms and treatment – Ana Brown
Helpful tips for coping with infertility stress